Understanding The Dating Culture of Young Millenials In Toronto

“smiling man and woman” by Pablo Merchán Montes on Unsplash

“[Society] is structured to distract people from the decisions that have a huge impact on happiness in order to focus attention on the decisions that have a marginal impact on happiness. The most important decision any of us make is who we marry. Yet there are no courses on how to choose a spouse.” — David Brooks

When you begin your 20s there is no manual that helps you conquer the dating scene. What most people don’t realize is that going into your 20s you are starting to discover and build who you are at the same time. This includes a lot of trial and error in almost every aspect of your life.

Turning 25 has taught me a lot about the dating scene:

1. Everyone is terrified of commitment
2. The hook-up culture has taken over
3. Online dating apps make you meet a lot of creeps and relationships you didn’t expect (friendships, business connections, deep connections,etc.)
4. At the end of the day, everyone just wants to be loved (whether it’s for 1 night or a committed relationship)

With all that being said, I still have hope in finding a fun but serious relationship but everyone’s timing and what they are seeking varies. Rarely do we know what we want in a relationship when we are in our 20s and it does change over time.

Terrified of Commitment:

If there is one word to describe my generation’s dating scene, it would be anxious. It is tough for us financially and we don’t have the same path of landing a career as our parents did. My generation gets a lot of slack for being lazy and ungrateful. However, we are a generation set up with rare full-time positions that pay us lower and at the same time, we can barely afford our rent on our own. How can we move up in the world if we are not able to start off more easily? How can we even think about committing ourselves to another person when we are already struggling? We can’t afford to make the mistake of a toxic relationship or even think to live with a partner if it is taking a long time to establish ourselves compared to previous generations.

Hook-Up Culture:

This brings me to why I think the hook-up culture is so prominent. It’s easy and fun! No commitment required. Establishing yourself in your career is a priority and being able to have fun with new dates is easily attainable and helps alleviate daily stress.

Dating Apps:

With dating apps like Tinder, Grindr, Bumble and Hinge, you are easily capable of finding that fun with so many options. We are living at a time where we can research, purchase, and find a date at our fingertips. But, navigating online dating takes practice. Noticing red flags and taking your time early on will help you divert away from the creeps. Meeting people on these apps can also bring together unexpected friendships or strong connections you didn’t expect.

Everyone Wants To Be Loved:

This brings me to the final point. In this crazy world, no matter the age, career level, or gender, we just want to be loved. Young millennials are seeking love but with different options and societal expectations than our parents had. With a plethora of options and during our years of exploration, we are discovering new lovers and most importantly ourselves.

The constant unknown for us shifts us towards experiences in the here and now until we have accomplished building our lives and bringing a partner that we can commit to.