The Power of Saying No

“woman wearing white and orange top” by Isaiah Rustad on Unsplash

One of the most essential tips I’ve learned through my therapy is the value of setting and maintaining boundaries. More specifically, my dedication to saying “no” when I mean it.

The one thing I am unable to understand about some people is their inability to recognize when they are stepping over someone’s boundaries or the essence of the word no.

Through my dating life, friends, and family, people will twist the word “no”.

No does NOT mean the following:

1. Not now but later.
2. But what you’re really saying is yes. You’re just too shy to say it or do it.
3. Yes.
4. Continue convincing me and arguing to change my opinion.

Ladies and gentlemen, no means no and shouldn’t change based on others desires. We’ve learned the saying “no means no”, in elementary school, why hasn’t it been transferred to adulthood?

The feeling of saying no to people over the years has been very scary. It got to the point where I experienced my first panic attack at the age of 23.

It is has been a hard and anxiety-producing journey but it’s been worth it. My advice- if another person doesn’t respect your boundaries right away, take it as a blessing that you know their true colours right away.

“brown heart wicker tray” by Mindaugas Petrutis on Unsplash

The Benefits of Saying No- Even When It Feels Terrifying:

1. You remove the toxic people in your life who don’t respect you.
2. You make your values clear to others.
3. That terrifying feeling is your body trying to protect you. By going outside your comfort zone, you’re growing and becoming the best version of yourself.
4. You’re undoing toxic patterns you might have been unaware existed.

5. You are committing yourself to true self-love.

I hope the next time you truly want to say no, you do it, and see how doing this consistently will change your life.